Wow! This truly landed with me. I'm going to have to rethink a lot of my mental models around purpose and meaning-making.
In the process of figuring out my purpose and voice I find myself pushing aside some persistent themes and ideas that keep coming up just because it's not aligned with who I think want to (or should) be. Thanks for writing this!
That's an incredible insight Lisette. Love it. These ideas and themes that keep coming back to you.. usually there's where the real gold is. The ideas of who we think we should be, are the ones that keep us from figuring out whats really unique and special about us. Thank you for sharing what came up for you!
Wow thank you for this, this really resonated “In the process of figuring out my purpose and voice I find myself pushing aside some persistent themes and ideas that keep coming up just because it's not aligned with who I think want to (or should) be.” I had a sneaking suspicion I was falling into a mental trap, and this articulated it for me
Perhaps we’re using different language but I don’t feel like I was taught this. I feel like my work was supposed to matter (selling coffee matters because people like to drink coffee) and not cause harm (but what are the harms to workers in coffee shops and the coffee supply chain?).
I think a lot of us struggle with whether work matters and how little control we feel over causing harm. I don’t have solutions but I definitely feel that these kinds of questions are different from the kinds of questions about work that prior generations had.
Yes, I agree with you this is very a generational struggle. For example, my parents grew up with the message that meaning and purpose comes from the family. As a millennial, I grew up with the message that purpose is found at work. And when you find your purpose at work, you will be happy ever after. Either way, I believe these are all narratives that shaped my multiple influences of societal shifts, culture and time. But nevertheless, it doesn't stop us from internalising some or all of it as a truth. The real work for me is about unlearning narratives, and discovering our own personal truth. A hard quest for sure!
I love this language. I've also felt the pressure of finding my "one thing" only to find that my one thing is being a generalist with a range of skills and interests! I still believe that purpose is one of the biggest keys to mattering in the world we live in, so thanks for that subtle shift to living "on purpose" and finding meaning in everything that you do. Very helpful!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Joshua. You said it perfectly, it's the subtle shift that can reduce the pressure and anxiety of finding one thing, and enjoy more of the discovery process.
I am at the end of my career and retirement looms, after 40 years of working I can see how work has held me and shaped me, provided identity and structure. But more importantly I have learnt that the divide between work and not work is artifical. It is all life. There are those things that fill you with life and those that drain you. If you love your work, it ceases to be work.
I totally agree with you. I advocate fully for the integration of life and work. I dread a life where I'd only start enjoy living after I check out from work. I've been there in the beginning of my career, and it's torturing (at least for me).
While I think that the work we choose is also part of our identity, my point is about avoiding to define our entire identity based only on the work that we do. Because when the work is not there anymore, who are you? And also, when we define who we are only by what we do, our sense of worth and self-esteem might suffer whenever we're not being "productive".
I hear you and understand. For me as life has moved on questions around identity blur . . .as a wife and mother I was defined by my relationship to others for a long time. The world stopped seeing me . Work provided an opportunity for self expression and for people to see me. Retirement presents a new challenge . .
I’m going through this same mental untangling right now! Who am I when I take work out of the equation? It’s a hard question to answer but it’s a critical one to ask.
100% Kelsey. The answer to this question is exactly where we discover our own self-worth: we're human beings. And this is already more than enough to be deserving. Conceptually most people would agree with this, but to actually experience this as a truth we must go in search of our own answers :)
Oh hi from another Nat! ☺️ Love reading your musings and this one is no different. I struggled with this a lot in my 20s. I remember hearing share a similar sentiment as to what you’ve shared here — that perhaps it’s not about having one grand purpose but living with purpose in every moment. As I’ve gotten older and become a mother, it feels like the whole point of life is to simply live from the truest place I can in any given moment or season. Sometimes that’s bigger and more visible and sometimes it’s cradling a small head against my chest or making the 26th snack of the day or melting into my husband’s embrace or calling a friend. Sometimes when I’m so fixed on the big picture, I lose the magic of the small, meaningful everyday moments that accumulate to build a beautiful and a meaningful life. 🤍
Hey Nat!! Hi ☺️ Oh 100%. I'm not a mom myself, but I have many friends who are. And what you're describing is so true. I heard from all of them, how becoming a mom made them shift their perspective on how they see life, goals, and what's meaningful - and themselves. I think that caring and nurturing for another human is one of the most beautiful things in life. You're literally CREATING LIFE. And yes, I also believe that it's the sum of intentional everyday moments that creates a meaningful life.
Wow! This truly landed with me. I'm going to have to rethink a lot of my mental models around purpose and meaning-making.
In the process of figuring out my purpose and voice I find myself pushing aside some persistent themes and ideas that keep coming up just because it's not aligned with who I think want to (or should) be. Thanks for writing this!
That's an incredible insight Lisette. Love it. These ideas and themes that keep coming back to you.. usually there's where the real gold is. The ideas of who we think we should be, are the ones that keep us from figuring out whats really unique and special about us. Thank you for sharing what came up for you!
Wow thank you for this, this really resonated “In the process of figuring out my purpose and voice I find myself pushing aside some persistent themes and ideas that keep coming up just because it's not aligned with who I think want to (or should) be.” I had a sneaking suspicion I was falling into a mental trap, and this articulated it for me
It sounds like you need a low-demand job! https://neurodivergentnotes.substack.com/p/low-demand-life-and-work
Perhaps we’re using different language but I don’t feel like I was taught this. I feel like my work was supposed to matter (selling coffee matters because people like to drink coffee) and not cause harm (but what are the harms to workers in coffee shops and the coffee supply chain?).
I think a lot of us struggle with whether work matters and how little control we feel over causing harm. I don’t have solutions but I definitely feel that these kinds of questions are different from the kinds of questions about work that prior generations had.
Yes, I agree with you this is very a generational struggle. For example, my parents grew up with the message that meaning and purpose comes from the family. As a millennial, I grew up with the message that purpose is found at work. And when you find your purpose at work, you will be happy ever after. Either way, I believe these are all narratives that shaped my multiple influences of societal shifts, culture and time. But nevertheless, it doesn't stop us from internalising some or all of it as a truth. The real work for me is about unlearning narratives, and discovering our own personal truth. A hard quest for sure!
I love this language. I've also felt the pressure of finding my "one thing" only to find that my one thing is being a generalist with a range of skills and interests! I still believe that purpose is one of the biggest keys to mattering in the world we live in, so thanks for that subtle shift to living "on purpose" and finding meaning in everything that you do. Very helpful!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Joshua. You said it perfectly, it's the subtle shift that can reduce the pressure and anxiety of finding one thing, and enjoy more of the discovery process.
I am at the end of my career and retirement looms, after 40 years of working I can see how work has held me and shaped me, provided identity and structure. But more importantly I have learnt that the divide between work and not work is artifical. It is all life. There are those things that fill you with life and those that drain you. If you love your work, it ceases to be work.
I totally agree with you. I advocate fully for the integration of life and work. I dread a life where I'd only start enjoy living after I check out from work. I've been there in the beginning of my career, and it's torturing (at least for me).
While I think that the work we choose is also part of our identity, my point is about avoiding to define our entire identity based only on the work that we do. Because when the work is not there anymore, who are you? And also, when we define who we are only by what we do, our sense of worth and self-esteem might suffer whenever we're not being "productive".
I hear you and understand. For me as life has moved on questions around identity blur . . .as a wife and mother I was defined by my relationship to others for a long time. The world stopped seeing me . Work provided an opportunity for self expression and for people to see me. Retirement presents a new challenge . .
I’m going through this same mental untangling right now! Who am I when I take work out of the equation? It’s a hard question to answer but it’s a critical one to ask.
100% Kelsey. The answer to this question is exactly where we discover our own self-worth: we're human beings. And this is already more than enough to be deserving. Conceptually most people would agree with this, but to actually experience this as a truth we must go in search of our own answers :)
Oh hi from another Nat! ☺️ Love reading your musings and this one is no different. I struggled with this a lot in my 20s. I remember hearing share a similar sentiment as to what you’ve shared here — that perhaps it’s not about having one grand purpose but living with purpose in every moment. As I’ve gotten older and become a mother, it feels like the whole point of life is to simply live from the truest place I can in any given moment or season. Sometimes that’s bigger and more visible and sometimes it’s cradling a small head against my chest or making the 26th snack of the day or melting into my husband’s embrace or calling a friend. Sometimes when I’m so fixed on the big picture, I lose the magic of the small, meaningful everyday moments that accumulate to build a beautiful and a meaningful life. 🤍
Hey Nat!! Hi ☺️ Oh 100%. I'm not a mom myself, but I have many friends who are. And what you're describing is so true. I heard from all of them, how becoming a mom made them shift their perspective on how they see life, goals, and what's meaningful - and themselves. I think that caring and nurturing for another human is one of the most beautiful things in life. You're literally CREATING LIFE. And yes, I also believe that it's the sum of intentional everyday moments that creates a meaningful life.